It was a few years ago when I started to really dig into my spiritual practice. I began dowsing and working with crystals, and I also tried other forms of divination like tarot. I had gotten my first bowl reading in 2008 and that opened a lot of doors for me. It was the final blow in regards to my arguments against reincarnation. Prior to that, I had only had whispers of my past, but now I knew it was real. I couldn’t deny that anymore.
A few years later I had a dream that I knew was about my awakening. My primary psychic ability is clairvoyance, and this was natural for me as I’ve always been a visual person (I have grapheme/color synesthesia, a visual variant). It didn’t take long before I started having visions of my past lives and seeing myself in my prior bodies. That was obvious enough.
But one day in 2011, I looked down at my feet and saw different socks.
I wear cheap, black, multi-pack crew cut socks. The socks I saw on my feet were high-quality and brown patterned. But what struck me the most about them was that they were modern. This couldn’t have been from a past life. Was it from a parallel life? Were they my socks or someone else’s?
That was where it started, but not where it ended. I was living in a city that Spirit had suggested to me, and a friend of a friend had a coffee shop that she liked in that same city. When I went there, I had a rather unnerving experience of psychically and energetically connecting to a complete stranger.
It was like I brought that person home with me. He would stand behind me, close enough that I could feel the warmth from his body. I could hear the sound of him breathing next to me. I had visions of his childhood and recent past (and maybe even future). I would feel/hear his thoughts or feelings on certain things I was doing. I’d be working on something and suddenly I would see him near me, as if he were really there. A ghost of a living person.
What really jarred me, though, was that I saw myself as him, and him as me. I would look down at my hands and arms and see his instead. I’d see his clothes instead of mine. I’d feel his hair instead of mine. And when I looked at him, I’d see my face in his. Like synesthesia, these visions are overlaid on the original image. It happened so often that I started to think of us as being aspects of the same person. If you’ve ever seen Sense8 (and you should try to), it’s pretty much exactly like that.
Of course, in real life, he knew none of this. Did I try to talk to him about it? Um, yes. But only in parts, because I had a feeling that there was a way I should approach the matter. I was guided by Spirit in terms of what I should say or reveal about the situation to someone who, understandably, had as little control over what I was accessing of him as I did. That “conversation” still isn’t over, but it does not in any way look like a conventional discussion.
When this bizarre energy connection happened, naturally, I began trying to find an explanation. If I could feel and experience this person as if he were me, does that make him me? Does that make him my twin soul? Or perhaps we have a very strong energy connection because we are soulmates or have a near matching energy signature? Or maybe…he has a fragment of my soul (or I have a fragment of his) and that is why I see me in him? Maybe we have a shared trauma or background and that is what binds us?
For a long time, I believed he was my twin soul. But…he wasn’t the last person this happened with. (And no, the socks from earlier in the story were not his.)
It happened with Levinah Murphy when she was telling her story to me. It has happened with a few more people since, and these people are either long dead or they are alive now but complete strangers to me. It has never once happened with anyone I am intimately or closely connected to in my current life.
Each time, it is as if I am embodying them, as if I were experiencing their bodies from the first person. I remember things about them or know things about them I couldn’t possibly have imagined on my own. It really does feel like being in a cluster from Sense8, except that to my knowledge none of the living people know this is happening. (The people who have passed into spirit know, but that’s different.)
I reached out to Slade Roberson who runs an intuitive development course to see if he had ever heard of anything like this from any of the students or practitioners he had worked with. He said he hadn’t, but that he thought it was my task to write about the experience and try to give it my own language. So that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.
While no one to my knowledge has talked about this particular experience in spiritual communities that I’ve come across, the concept is all over fiction. In Your Eyes, Secret Garden (the Korean drama), and Sense8 are some recent examples I’ve seen. You better believe my own stories cover the topic, too. But still, sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction. This theme shows up a lot in stories because the very concept of getting to share someone else’s perspective is a fascinating one and would have amazing implications for how we interact with each other as a species. Sense8 explores this concept by referring to people like this as “sensates” who share a first-person bond with each other. To be able to empathically connect to others would completely change the scope of things like war, resource distribution, relationships. Everything. It would change everything.
Am I the only one who can do this? I don’t think so. Most psychics are exercising a certain skill when they connect to others. Some hear, others feel, others see, and so on, but we’re all accessing a part of someone when we read them. I guess the parts I am accessing are a little more intimate (or invasive, depending on how you look at it) and all encompassing. And I’m still not entirely sure what prerequisites are necessary to be able to do it with someone. I have figured out that I have strong energetic connections to the people I can do this with, and a lot of the time there is a shared history there as well. Soulmates? Same soul journey? I don’t know.
It’s pretty cool when it gives me an insight into historical events that there are no records of. It’s also an opportunity to learn about things I’ve never gotten to do or experience myself. I’ve legitimately “been” to other cities and countries in my head that I’ve never seen in my current life. Cool, but also a little isolating, because as you can imagine, this is pretty difficult to talk about. Especially to the people whose lives I’m…borrowing?
Now, I know you found this website because you are trying to understand and explore your own experiences. It’s scary putting this kind of thing out there, but it’s easier when someone else talks about it first and creates a safe place for you to own your experiences. That is 100% my purpose for being here. So, please:
If you are having a similar experience, do not hesitate to let me know, either in the comments or by email if you’re not comfortable sharing publicly! And if you have any questions and want to try to understand what it’s like to be a real life “sensate” please also don’t hesitate to ask. I am just as curious and eager to learn more about this experience as you are!
Thanks again for stopping by!