When I was first introduced to totem animals, it was a concept I didn’t connect with all that well. It sounded interesting and I saw how other people could connect with it, but at the time I felt it had little to do with me.
In a small dream circle gathering, a few others sized me up and told me they sensed my primary totem animal was the mountain goat. I sat with this for awhile, read up on it, and realized it resonated with me on many levels. I’ve felt a connection to this part of myself ever since.
A few years later, I decided to explore the topic again. In meditation one night I asked to see an image of the animal essence I needed most at the moment. The image that came to me was rather surprising: a scorpion! I asked again later during the meditation and got the same image.
My friend suggested another meditation to me to give further insight into the totem animals I need to connect with at this time, so I tried it and the results were interesting!
Go into a room. Inside the room is a stereo. Think about discovering the animal energy you need or are connecting with the most, and then turn up the stereo. Turn it up until you can hear the sounds that particular animal makes.
When I turned up the stereo, what I heard was like a white noise sound. It was as though someone had left a recorder outside at night. I turned it up a bit more, and what I heard was the sound of small pebbles or bits of ground being moved aside. This is what one would hear when listening to a scorpion, I would imagine!
Upon reading about what scorpion energy brings, I realized that this isn’t energy that I exude but energy I need to tap into. I deny many parts of myself that the scorpion helps to balance. The part of it that I connected the most with is the need to stand up for myself and protect what I think is right rather than continuously backing down to avoid conflict. Picking your battles is good but I often choose not to stand up when I should. It’s okay to be fierce once in awhile in the right context.